Six-Pack Secrets of Time Travelers, Wizards, and Aliens: A Historically (In)accurate Guide to Abs

Ever wondered how Spartans, Victorian gentlemen, or extraterrestrial beings achieve those enviable washboard abs? Time to embark on a belly-busting journey through the ages (and galaxies)! Spoiler: No crunches in space.

1. Caveman Core:

• Activity: Hunting and gathering (with occasional saber-tooth tiger evasions).
• Diet: Paleo, before it was cool.
• Top Tip: Chase wild animals (or just pretend-play with your dog) to get your heart rate up.

2. Spartan Stomach:

• Activity: Spear thrusting and shield lifting.
• Diet: Mediterranean delights, heavy on olives and fish.
• Top Tip: Channel your inner warrior with spear (broomstick) lunges.

3. Victorian Gentleman’s Gut

• Activity: Vigorous mustache twirling and umbrella dueling.
• Diet: Tea and biscuits, with restraint.
• Top Tip: Maintain perfect posture while reading (or binge-watching) – it’s an undercover ab workout.

4. 1980s Disco Belly:

• Activity: Breakdancing and moonwalking.
• Diet: Pop Rocks and Cola (not recommended).
• Top Tip: Blast retro tracks and dance like nobody’s watching.

5. Alien Abs from Planet Zireon:

• Activity: Interstellar yoga and moon-jumping.
• Diet: Galaxy smoothies and starfruit.
• Top Tip: Attempt anti-gravity exercises (or just jump on a trampoline).

6. Time Traveler’s Tummy:

• Activity: Quantum leaping and temporal dodging.
• Diet: Anything, as long as it’s eaten within the space-time continuum.
• Top Tip: Visualize your future six-pack. The power of the mind (or a potential wormhole) might just make it real.

While we may not have the exact regimens from history (or space), the journey to a six-pack is as diverse as the universe itself. But remember, whether you’re aiming for a ‘Spartan Stomach’ or ‘Alien Abs,’ the real secret lies in consistency, dedication, and a bit of fun along the way.

Travis Perez

Travis is the lead content developer on SixpackShortcut.com He also writes in the wellness and outdoor space. On SixpackShortcut.com Travis specializes in sixpack product reviews and informative articles.